This day was to be a special one, one that would make the occasional rainy day even more joyous. And even though we've all been posting about rain it seems, let me once again please.
Today my eyes were not called from their rest by the shreiking clock, but by a low rumbling announcing the coming of that life-giving source which is rain. My mind became occupied with thoughts of rain and the sheer joy that visits my soul when I am caught in a downpour. Despite the fact that the weather had foiled my plan to wear my deep jewel purple velvet skirt, I was still pretty excited about the day, which seems to be a rare occurance this semester. I forgot about the skirt and instead wore jeans, tied my curling brown mop of hair back with my new velvet ribbon, and rushed off to English, umbrella in hand.
I stepped out of my front door and raised my umbrella spotted with brown, orange, and yellow daisies. It looks like a sunshine, especially on a day like today. I saw some of my friends and said 'Good Morning!" Their response was a grumbling reply hurled back in my direction. But my spirits were not dampened! "No, I'll not let them get me down!" was my thought as I walked right up beside Dr. Kilian, my choir director. "Good Morning!" I beamed, "How are you?"
"Fine thank you. How are you, your majesty?"
"Just marvellous!"
"Well you don't hear that much around here!"
"But it's raining, and I simply love a rainy day, don't you?"
"Indeed I do, and I'm so glad to hear that you do too. See you at 1:30?"
"Yes sir!" Then I went straight to breakfast, where I couldn't find anything to eat, save the dried pineapples in my backpack that were to help me make it through algebra. I ate the pineapples while chatting with my friends Chris and Stephanie, and I discovered that they did not share my love of rainy days then headed to class.
English was so slow. Six huge windows gave to me an un-obstructed view of what I was missing outside. Sirens sounded almost constantly and I began to feel guilty about enjoying the rain that was obviously causing those accidents. Finally Dr. Harris stopped talking about advertisements and their manipulative ways and I practically flew down the colossal flights of steps in Memorial Hall to breathe the outside air that held a bit of that rain smell. It was still wonderful.
However, I couldn't enjoy it for longer than the walk to Algebra class. It was so hot in there and my teacher just wanders off on strange tangents like the Yiddish language and how math is like ice cream. Normally I like listening to people who think and speak in this manner, partially because that's how I am, jumping from subject to subject but equally excited about each and trying to communicate my enthusiasm to those who may not feel the same. But today I didn't hardly catch a word he said. I was thinking of what I would do after classes, about what happened two weeks ago, a month ago, about if I would ever get to see the rest of the world, those sorts of things. I was jolted from these thoughts when Dr.Fryd said he'd see us Thursday and grumbled about the awful weather. I had been thinking about playing in the puddles, but I started to think about being responsible and not getting wet because I had class. (Geeze, I must be 'growing up', that stinks.) So instead, I ran into a wet bench, an interesting experience belive me.
The rain had all but stopped as I travelled to lunch, which was scary so we'll just skip that whole hour. Beef and tater-tot cassarole and beets? Not ok.
By the time choir rolled around my morale had been deeply wounded and the rain was now a torential tempest. No one was happy about the rain except me and I didn't know if I was any more. I was cold, I was wet, I was hungry, and I was tired. My sunny umbrella's handle broke and my leg hurt from the violent encounter with the malicious bench. I forced myself to make it through choir because we were talking about Italy and when it was over I was not happy, in fact, I was on the verge of tears. I needed a book.
I just got my card to the city library so I decided, "Hey, I'm already a little wet, maybe a walk would do me good." I was trying to be positive. So I was on my way, on foot. As I neared the library I became a little more optimistic and a lot wetter. I ran in and got a book about Rossetti and rushed back out.I needed to take the long way home and have a good long thought.
So I walked, all alone with my handle-less umbrella, wishing that someone was walking along with me in the rain. You cannot imagine how accutely I felt this being alone. It was so strange, I knew that as soon as I got back I would be surrounded by happy people, all these people who really know nothing about me except my name and other superficial facts, then we would go see a movie. But they do care about me, I don't know what got into me. Maybe I was homesick? All I know is I felt isolated from the earth in it's entirety. So as I turned these very depressing thoughts over in my head, I realized I was crying. I lowered my umbrella and just stood on the sidewalk and cried for a good 15 minutes that seemed like all of eternity. How had this 'perfect' day gone from lovely to miserable? I let my discontentment and my surroundings (which aren't even bad, just new) get me down. It really was a long time coming, since before this semester started. Maybe I just needed a good cry, who knows. I only stopped crying because the sun peeked out of the clouds at me like I was the only person on earth and warmed my freezing self. Then I smiled a humongous smile. And I laughed and ran and danced and splashed in the puddles. All this happened in front of this random lady's house, and she witnessed from behind her curtains. Oh well hopefully I helped cheer her up!
I needed the suns warmth physically because it was 40 ish outside and I was numb and soaked; coat, scarf, velvet ribbon and all.
But more than that I needed it spiritually. There I was crying because I didn't have human companionship for like an hour. Crying because of this great life that has been bestowed so very kindly upon me!? How stupid of me! I have the never ending promise of the companionship of the God of the Universe! Hello! Why should I be concerned with such trivial things? He has given to me a small close-knit group of Christian friends to be with, and the chance to be a light to those others around me and a loving family and (almost) perfect friends!I was really just discontented with my present situation, maybe I was even just bored. God has given me this wonderful opportunity! Leave it to me to act like it isn't good enough, to act like a selfish ignorant human.
But thank you Lord for that cleansing rain! When I came back I changed into that skirt I hadn't gotten to wear earlier and holed up in my room, where I now sit typing pages of topsy-turvy emotions, happy-sad-happy. Rain causes growth, and I see now that I obviously am in need of much more growth in all of my immaturity.
But I also think God let me get wet to show me that I could still play in rain puddles. After all, I am still very much a child: His.
