I have a sparkly, black dress for New Year's Eve.

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at a spinning thing, whirling, zooming round, but all I can do is look. And occasionally I feel an overwhelming responsibility for this thing, but I feel so, I don't know, powerless? What a strange situation.
Strange? Complicated? Horrifying? Multi-faceted? Delicate? Peculiar? Earth-shatteringly real? Wondrous?

Confusing?

But then, these are words I often use to describe the things I love best.




"Give me hope. I need a little, just a little."
K.S.Rhoads Dark Hotel

My city through the eyes of my iPhone

It's quite tinsel-ed.

Some of my ancestors:

It's always nice to find out you are descended from nobility, and such was the case yesterday as I was working on a series of my 10th great grandparents. I give you, Thomas Howard, 21st Earl of Arundel and Lady Alethea Talbot, both painted by Peter Paul Rubens. RUBENS.

Point Me At Lost Islands (Tired Pony)

By the look in your down-turned eyes,
you've had enough of these angry skies.
I can't wait just like you can't wait
until we're out, past familiar gates.

Your hands are freezing cold on my face,
just like the winter snow that covers up this place.

It's what you wrote in the book's first page.
It's what I've hungered for on that stage.
Those seven words shook the life back in,
so let's just run 'til we lose our breath.

Point me at lost islands. Point me at the sea.
I'd love to know the sound of nothing else but you.

For the life of me, I don't know
what took us so long, but here we are.
Standing face to face, suddenly
everything makes sense, at least to me.

Ok, I admit it. I'm insanely sorry that I ever cut my hair. Can I have it back now?

This is some of why I chase my ancestors.

My 10th Great Grandmother, Frances Hutchins, was often in court in the mid 1600's in Massachusetts for, ". . . wearing a silk hood." The law she broke was written to combat ". . . intolerable excess and bravery in dress."

What a woman.

Born

(Bergquist/Detweiler {aka Over the Rhine})

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find

Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind

Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as I am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be

Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me

We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear



_______________________________


It's one of those songs that I wish I had written, and one that I feel I could have written.

Me on a pony, 1990

I've been laughing at this photo all day.

Time to start buying gifts for my friends and family! So far the only people I'm done shopping for are my niece and nephew. Kids are so easy to shop for.

I love anything that haunts me . . . and never leaves.

-Jeff Buckley

Christmas Video Countdown!

23 days till Christmas!

Last night I sat on the porch of my favorite coffee house in Nashville, reading some Byatt and sipping some coffee (a Mochahontas) while waiting for my brother to get finished with a meeting. I saw people sitting at the same table together, talking loudly about nothing to no one, and looking around to see who was there/who was watching them. It was strange. When I go there, I sit with my friends (there are ALWAYS people I know there, wonderful, wonderful people) and we talk to each other, we look at each other.


When Gabe was finished, we went inside and started talking about how good looking John Wilkes Booth was. Strange topic of conversation? Maybe, for most, but for us? No way.






Then we walked across the street and sat with some other friends for a while before making our way to the cabin to watch lots of Mad Men. By the time we got there, we were so tired that we only made it through one episode.

I'm not sure what my point is here, other than just feeling the need to send these words into space about the city.

Some music that is about how I live my life:

And a Christmas song: