I want to be real. Sometimes I think of Pinocchio with his desire to be a "real-boy" and I realize that I want that too. I mean, obviously not the boy part, but I want to feel real. Lately I have felt like I'm just watching my life slip by, observing it through a window, but not quite experiencing it. Its like I'm waiting for something to break the window and wake me up. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe two undergraduate degrees in four years is wearing on me. Maybe I am lingering. Maybe I'm hesitant about this next section of my life. Maybe I need to have more trust. Maybe its ok if I don't know.


In this quest, I will need these things:

1. The realization that a plan has been set in motion for my life

2. The the knowlegde that the orchestration of such a plan is magnificent and not easily understood

3. Sleep

4. My friends

5. Rainfall

6. Faith and Trust (and pixie-dust)

7. Afore mentioned plan is specific to my life only. No one else can tell me what that plan is, other than the One who painted it out, so I should seek Him to know it.

8. My family's love and support

9. A potted plant

10. Music

11. The pictures of the generations of my family that I am too young to know

12. Pineapples, green apples, chocolate, sweetened tea, and scallops

13. The ocean

14. Canvases

15. A gentle breeze at night

16. Bird songs

17. A piano

18. Poetry

19. The ability to communicate in multi-faceted ways

20. The imagination of a child

21. Starlight

22. Skirts

23. Storms

24. Clovers

25. Raspberries

26. A garden

27. Love

28. A beautiful umbrella

29. Memories

30. Thistles and Dandelions

31. The smell of honeysuckles and pomegranates and orange blossoms

32. Naps in the sun

33. The books of Psalms, Lamentations, and Isaiah

34. A cape

35. My bicycle Peter

36. A new place

37. Empty pages

38. Honesty and Hope

39. My memories